Communication Lessons Taught to Couples Struggling with Marriage

Love is a strange feeling that can highlight the beauty of a sunset or sprout a sour fruit. It is the reason why people get together, yet it can also be the reason why some split up, but that is not what you want. You do not want to be a part of this statistic, and there may be something you can do. A survey shows that poor communication is the number one reason why couples split up, so what you can do is incorporate effective communication tools in your relationship. 

Refocus Your Communication

Many people do not know how to make sure their conversation is constructive yet still take their partners into account. One of the most important lessons regarding communications skills is how to refocus your conversations. Many couples focus on a particular problem rather than a solution, which can make the conversation feel depressing. 

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Furthermore, this type of conversation ends up creating a labyrinth of problems that can make your partner feel like he or she cannot begin to tackle what you just brought up. What you want to do is focus on solutions that you have in mind and also ask for your partner’s ideas regarding the problem. Now, it is okay to vent sometimes, but make sure you tell your partner that you are not looking for a solution; you just want to vent for a minute.

Use Hot Words to Stay in Control

You are in a committed relationship, and you know that there will be moments when an issue will get under your skin. This is not exactly a rare phenomenon, but you do need to understand how to deal with these moments. You won’t believe how many couples have to visit sites like to seek a divorce because they did not know how to handle tumultuous conversations.

It might sound strange, but one thing that is often suggested regarding heated conversations is the use of hot words. These words are codes that you and your partner establish beforehand in order to tell each other that you are too angry to continue a conversation. These words could be things like “pause” or “halt.” What you are attempting to do is prevent yourself from saying hurtful or emotionally abusive words to your partner, which can lead to irreparable damage and divorce. 

A Loving Touch

There are many ways to communicate, and the key is to find techniques that make your conversations as calm and fruitful as possible. A surprisingly effective tool that some couples use is the “loving touch” technique. The idea is to make sure you touch your partner while talking to him or her. This could be something as simple as rubbing your partner’s shoulders from time to time. 

You may think this will not accomplish much beyond being a little corny, but this can help in many ways. For one, the human touch releases chemicals such as oxytocin and other feel-good neurotransmitters. These chemicals help you and your partner feel good while talking, which goes a long way if you need to break some bad news. Talking to your partner while actively touching also helps partners feel connected, which is always the goal. 

Of course, these are just some techniques that you can use to improve communication skills in a struggling marriage. Be sure to remember that maintaining a healthy relationship takes two committed people. You should not be the only one trying to work on the marriage. Be open to expert advice, and be sure to remain open to each other during these stressful times.

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Anthony Sanchez

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